on going uphill

A year ago today, my dad made his graceful exit. As someone lucky enough to not lose a lot of people tragically, it's been a strange and interesting process to grieve.

In the first flush of things, the shock gets you through. There are details of life which must be dealt with, and you're borne through them by waves of adrenaline and (sometimes) hysterical laughter.

But for much of the summer and fall last year, through crazy deadlines at work, I just wasn't operating on all cylinders. It was as if I had a nasty cold and tried to go out for a run. Everything was hard, processes didn't make sense, everything was like reinventing the wheel. I'd cast on for complicated projects and c*ck them up utterly. (Please, please don't ask me about my Sullivan cardigan until I've had a chance to unravel the evidence.)

There is, of course, a great parallel in my running life: there's a great public trail along the waterfront in my little town which used to be the train trestle running out of town. It's a long sweep with great views, at the foot of a bluff. Heading out of town, you have a view of the bay and the mill... and some days, you think you're running your slowest time ever. Until you remember that it's a 3% uphill grade through there. Not enough to really *see*, but certainly enough to feel, and enough to slow you down.

So when January rolled around, and the 6-month milestone came and went, I felt the shift -- as if from one day to the next, I had more energy. I started working out again instead of grabbing that extra glass of wine in the evening. I got my feet underneath me at work, and our systems started making sense. That rolling slope finally canted downhill, and I could catch my breath again.

So thanks, all, for bearing with me while I chugged uphill, knitting little but stockinette and not feeling like talking with anyone. One year on, I can see the road straightening out before me, and I'm grateful.

A friend posted a message to a group of us on Facebook, out of the blue: "Anyone up for another round of P90X? I'm starting tomorrow!" And it sounded good. 

The Ravellenic Games start in ten days, and the WIP Wrestling events actually called my name. So I've chosen 6 UFOs to finish during the London Games: 3 scarves/small projects and 3 sweaters. Each finished UFO in each category rates a medal (one finished = bronze; two finished = silver, you get the idea.)

Who wants to join me?